Ok, the first one was relatively cheap to make and made some money, but did they really have to make a second one? Sure, the first one had some funny parts and I'll probably go see this one...but that just means I've lowered my standards significantly.
Dear writers and movie-making morons, settle the strike and make the writers earn their keep by not writing crappy scripts. Thank you.
PS Stay warm, Minnesota (and Iowa) people. It's frickin' freezing out there, Mr. Bigglesworth. (I'll get tired of saying that eventually...but not today!)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Overheard at work x2
1) Myself and two guys from work went to Red Robin for lunch today. We were discussing time off, how I have tons saved up, and what I should do with it.
Me: "One time in oh...fourth or fifth grade, I stayed home sick one day and watched Fletch 4 or 5 times in a row."
Guy #1: "Nice."
Guy #2: "I think you need to take a blood test."
(I will interrupt the transcript at this point with a link to the clip my coworker is referring to. It's within the first 15 seconds of this clip.)
Me: "Why does repeatedly watching Fletch make me gay?"
Guy #2: "You don't think that movie is gay?"
Me: "What's wrong with Fletch? Dude, Chevy Chase in his prime. I don't think we can be friends anymore."
Guy #2: "Dude, that movie has a mermaid in it, Tom Hanks, and you watched it several times in a row."
Me: (pause) (blank stare) "Why are you talking about Splash?"
Guy #2: "I thought that was what you watched."
Me and Guy #1: (sigh)
2) I was on the phone with a customer who had me on speakerphone. I was having him do something pretty repetitive, requiring about 120 clicks from him to complete.
Me: "Well at least your right-clicking finger will get a workout."
Customer: "Yeah, it will be...muscular now."
Coworker of Customer: (quietly) "I bet your girl will like that."
Customer and Coworker of Customer: (laugh)
Coworker of Customer: "Wait, did I say that out loud?" (chuckle)
Me: (trying to contain my laughter) (pause) "Yes...yes, you did."
Customer and Coworker of Customer: (embarrassed laughs)
Me: "One time in oh...fourth or fifth grade, I stayed home sick one day and watched Fletch 4 or 5 times in a row."
Guy #1: "Nice."
Guy #2: "I think you need to take a blood test."
(I will interrupt the transcript at this point with a link to the clip my coworker is referring to. It's within the first 15 seconds of this clip.)
Me: "Why does repeatedly watching Fletch make me gay?"
Guy #2: "You don't think that movie is gay?"
Me: "What's wrong with Fletch? Dude, Chevy Chase in his prime. I don't think we can be friends anymore."
Guy #2: "Dude, that movie has a mermaid in it, Tom Hanks, and you watched it several times in a row."
Me: (pause) (blank stare) "Why are you talking about Splash?"
Guy #2: "I thought that was what you watched."
Me and Guy #1: (sigh)
2) I was on the phone with a customer who had me on speakerphone. I was having him do something pretty repetitive, requiring about 120 clicks from him to complete.
Me: "Well at least your right-clicking finger will get a workout."
Customer: "Yeah, it will be...muscular now."
Coworker of Customer: (quietly) "I bet your girl will like that."
Customer and Coworker of Customer: (laugh)
Coworker of Customer: "Wait, did I say that out loud?" (chuckle)
Me: (trying to contain my laughter) (pause) "Yes...yes, you did."
Customer and Coworker of Customer: (embarrassed laughs)
Sunday, January 27, 2008
PMD
1) Quick things I have learned recently:
-I'm not as smart as I think I am. Sometimes I can be a real tool.
-I have two friends moving to Sweden. Holy crapola! Dear friends, you will be missed!
-Going 16 mph over the speed limit on your way to a midnight showing of Road House can cost you $138. Apparently the hundreds of other times I've done it, it was free...the speeding, not the midnight Road House showings. Go figure! I wonder if I could bill the Swayze...
-The more I listen/watch to the Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds "Live at Radio City" CD/DVD, the more I appreciate how incredibly talented they are. If you ever wanted to know how two good guitar players should sound, that my friends...is it. If anyone can prove there is a better pair that I like more (necessary weaseling out clause), I'll give you $5.
2) Soccer has been going well. I've played 6 games since my knee injury and I'm about 90%. I still have a nagging pain when I stop or cut hard, but thankfully it doesn't feel weak anymore. I also don't have full power behind my shot yet, but that will come. At least I'm back out there and I'm very, VERY happy about that. The bad news is I haven't scored since ____. Fill in your own joke there. It'll be fun!
3) I've been playing a lot of guitar lately. I try to pick it up everyday, even for just a few minutes. One of these days I'll have to win the lottery so I don't feel bad about buying a new guitar. My baby's getting tired. I can't believe it's lasted this long. I've had it for...holy crap; ten years now. I got it for Christmas my freshman year of college. That's so ridiculous. It's amazing it's still in one piece.
4) I started reading again recently and actually finished a book already. I read Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy in about two weeks. I've read it three or four times before, but I still love it. I haven't read for fun in years, mostly because when I have free time at home I get distracted by music, tv, my computer, etc etc, but hopefully I will pick up something else soon. Any suggestions? Something in the thriller (not the album)/detective/mystery genre perhaps.
5) I realized a week or two ago that I had kept a Netflix movie for about 4 months. Clearly I wasn't getting much bang for my buck. Since then, I've watched two:
-Donnie Darko was really weird because I knew next to nothing about the plot...even after watching it. :) Seriously though, it was weird but in a good way. I definitely need to watch it again so it can make more sense.
-Rocky Balboa really wasn't bad. It wasn't the greatest movie ever and certainly wasn't the best Rocky, but it was alright. There's just something about sports movies...
-Next up: The Godfather. I've seen parts of it many, many times but I've seen it all in one sitting.
6) Here's a trailer for the new movie called Vantage Point. It looks like a cool premise...so hopefully the script is decent.
7) Yes, this was a movie, but it also happened not once but twice. Unbelievable. I don't have a joke to add here. However, note to self: don't ever fly to Vietnam.
8) I played hockey yesterday for the first time this year and it was a lot of fun. Thankfully the weather warmed up (ok, climbed above 20 degrees) for the first time since my knee has been feeling better. We had a good mix of skill levels and it was a good time. My back hurts today, but since I've been writing this while wearing a heating pad I...ugh, this is depressing lol. The sad thing is, I actually like being sore. In a weird way, it makes me know I'm alive and I'm pushing myself. I guess that's a good thing since it'll happen more and more frequently as I get older. :)
9) Last but not least, three weeks ago I joined *dum dum dum* eHarmony. Yes, I've joined the online dating scene...which will hopefully be more successful than my offline one. :) So if anyone asks, I'm 6'5", ripped, make $150k/year and drive a Dodge Stratus. Anyway, it was something I needed to do because I can't wait around for something to happen, I have to go out and make it happen. Also, clearly what I've been doing (or not doing, as the results would indicate) has accomplished nothing. It has been an interesting and fun process thus far and if you, dear readers, have any questions, feel free to ask. I don't mind sharing, but I won't bore you now.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, my username is 3eyedturtlefan...just kidding. :) (PS If you have to ask what the hell that is, you weren't there and I'm not telling lol.)
-I'm not as smart as I think I am. Sometimes I can be a real tool.
-I have two friends moving to Sweden. Holy crapola! Dear friends, you will be missed!
-Going 16 mph over the speed limit on your way to a midnight showing of Road House can cost you $138. Apparently the hundreds of other times I've done it, it was free...the speeding, not the midnight Road House showings. Go figure! I wonder if I could bill the Swayze...
-The more I listen/watch to the Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds "Live at Radio City" CD/DVD, the more I appreciate how incredibly talented they are. If you ever wanted to know how two good guitar players should sound, that my friends...is it. If anyone can prove there is a better pair that I like more (necessary weaseling out clause), I'll give you $5.
2) Soccer has been going well. I've played 6 games since my knee injury and I'm about 90%. I still have a nagging pain when I stop or cut hard, but thankfully it doesn't feel weak anymore. I also don't have full power behind my shot yet, but that will come. At least I'm back out there and I'm very, VERY happy about that. The bad news is I haven't scored since ____. Fill in your own joke there. It'll be fun!
3) I've been playing a lot of guitar lately. I try to pick it up everyday, even for just a few minutes. One of these days I'll have to win the lottery so I don't feel bad about buying a new guitar. My baby's getting tired. I can't believe it's lasted this long. I've had it for...holy crap; ten years now. I got it for Christmas my freshman year of college. That's so ridiculous. It's amazing it's still in one piece.
4) I started reading again recently and actually finished a book already. I read Red Storm Rising by Tom Clancy in about two weeks. I've read it three or four times before, but I still love it. I haven't read for fun in years, mostly because when I have free time at home I get distracted by music, tv, my computer, etc etc, but hopefully I will pick up something else soon. Any suggestions? Something in the thriller (not the album)/detective/mystery genre perhaps.
5) I realized a week or two ago that I had kept a Netflix movie for about 4 months. Clearly I wasn't getting much bang for my buck. Since then, I've watched two:
-Donnie Darko was really weird because I knew next to nothing about the plot...even after watching it. :) Seriously though, it was weird but in a good way. I definitely need to watch it again so it can make more sense.
-Rocky Balboa really wasn't bad. It wasn't the greatest movie ever and certainly wasn't the best Rocky, but it was alright. There's just something about sports movies...
-Next up: The Godfather. I've seen parts of it many, many times but I've seen it all in one sitting.
6) Here's a trailer for the new movie called Vantage Point. It looks like a cool premise...so hopefully the script is decent.
7) Yes, this was a movie, but it also happened not once but twice. Unbelievable. I don't have a joke to add here. However, note to self: don't ever fly to Vietnam.
8) I played hockey yesterday for the first time this year and it was a lot of fun. Thankfully the weather warmed up (ok, climbed above 20 degrees) for the first time since my knee has been feeling better. We had a good mix of skill levels and it was a good time. My back hurts today, but since I've been writing this while wearing a heating pad I...ugh, this is depressing lol. The sad thing is, I actually like being sore. In a weird way, it makes me know I'm alive and I'm pushing myself. I guess that's a good thing since it'll happen more and more frequently as I get older. :)
9) Last but not least, three weeks ago I joined *dum dum dum* eHarmony. Yes, I've joined the online dating scene...which will hopefully be more successful than my offline one. :) So if anyone asks, I'm 6'5", ripped, make $150k/year and drive a Dodge Stratus. Anyway, it was something I needed to do because I can't wait around for something to happen, I have to go out and make it happen. Also, clearly what I've been doing (or not doing, as the results would indicate) has accomplished nothing. It has been an interesting and fun process thus far and if you, dear readers, have any questions, feel free to ask. I don't mind sharing, but I won't bore you now.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, my username is 3eyedturtlefan...just kidding. :) (PS If you have to ask what the hell that is, you weren't there and I'm not telling lol.)
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Nothing to see here...
Yeah, I haven't posted anything in almost two weeks. I suck, I know. I've had post after post partially written but never finished because work gets in the way and then I don't feel like blogging when I get home. (I know, I know - somebody call the whambalance) Anyway, I've now combined those into one giant post...that will need to be edited because most random things I thought were funny at the time, aren't now. I'll have something more substantial soon.
In order for this post to not be complete bust ("Well, it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions." - name the movie without using the interweb!), I will pass along some very important info. I discovered something yesterday that I'm sure will both shock and awe you...er whatever. Remember the old Saturday Night Live commercial with Farley and Sandler for a beer called Schmitt's Gay? Of course you do, it's a classic. If for some reason you've lived in a hole, but now read this blog, check it out here.
Did you know that not one, not two, but THREE different songs were cut to make the music for the original clip? Crazyness! I was listening to my ipod yesterday and the ZZ Top song "A Fool For Your Stockings" came on. (Yes, ZZ Top is about as subtle with their songwriting as AC/DC) I haven't heard the song in a looong time but the opening bars instantly reminded me of the commercial. Then comes the opening dive bomb of Van Halen's "D.O.A" and finally the "Beautiful Girls" riff. That's not one, but two Van Halen songs AND a ZZ Top song. Like I said - crazyness!
The real funny part? On subsequent airings, they have replaced the song clips with super-cheeseball knockoffs. Check it out here. (The site kinda stinks - let the popup add come up, close it, then watch the clip.) I'm sure you'll agree that it's laughable by comparison.
That's what I bring to the table, folks. Pointless crap. You're welcome. Until next time...
In order for this post to not be complete bust ("Well, it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you a few questions." - name the movie without using the interweb!), I will pass along some very important info. I discovered something yesterday that I'm sure will both shock and awe you...er whatever. Remember the old Saturday Night Live commercial with Farley and Sandler for a beer called Schmitt's Gay? Of course you do, it's a classic. If for some reason you've lived in a hole, but now read this blog, check it out here.
Did you know that not one, not two, but THREE different songs were cut to make the music for the original clip? Crazyness! I was listening to my ipod yesterday and the ZZ Top song "A Fool For Your Stockings" came on. (Yes, ZZ Top is about as subtle with their songwriting as AC/DC) I haven't heard the song in a looong time but the opening bars instantly reminded me of the commercial. Then comes the opening dive bomb of Van Halen's "D.O.A" and finally the "Beautiful Girls" riff. That's not one, but two Van Halen songs AND a ZZ Top song. Like I said - crazyness!
The real funny part? On subsequent airings, they have replaced the song clips with super-cheeseball knockoffs. Check it out here. (The site kinda stinks - let the popup add come up, close it, then watch the clip.) I'm sure you'll agree that it's laughable by comparison.
That's what I bring to the table, folks. Pointless crap. You're welcome. Until next time...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Witty Work chatter
Sorry for the lack of posting, I've been berry busy lately (f'n Facebook is the devil). Work blew today as well or this would have been up much earlier.
Very short setup: at work, we have a queue of cases that need to be taken and worked. The cases appear with, among other things, a customer name and abstract (subject matter). Below is what happened after seeing a case pop in for a customer with the first name of Ganesh:
Me: "Ganesh is the Hindu god, right?"
Co-worker: "Yeah...I feel honored that he's calling us for support."
(pause)
Me: "Solid."
Very short setup: at work, we have a queue of cases that need to be taken and worked. The cases appear with, among other things, a customer name and abstract (subject matter). Below is what happened after seeing a case pop in for a customer with the first name of Ganesh:
Me: "Ganesh is the Hindu god, right?"
Co-worker: "Yeah...I feel honored that he's calling us for support."
Me:
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Too funny to not post
This was an actual AdSense/AdWord on my gmail tonight:
Girl Eating Girl - www.Target.com - Girl eating girl Online. Shop Target.com.
Hmm. I don't know who I've been talking to, and more importantly what words I've been using, to trigger that type of ad...but if you need me, I'll be over at Target.com...reading the articles.
(PS From now on I will say "Shop Target.com" after every sexual innuendo I throw out.)
Girl Eating Girl - www.Target.com - Girl eating girl Online. Shop Target.com.
Hmm. I don't know who I've been talking to, and more importantly what words I've been using, to trigger that type of ad...but if you need me, I'll be over at Target.com...reading the articles.
(PS From now on I will say "Shop Target.com" after every sexual innuendo I throw out.)
PMD
1) Happy New Year everyone!
2) New Years Eve was a lot fun. There was drinking, fondue, lots of chatting, "Scene It" (super fun party game...and not because it was right in my wheelhouse. It will get it's own post later), some tv and movie watching, and a sleepover. Very, very good times.
3) Well, it's now 2008...who feels different? I don't. For me, it's like any birthday after 25 (car insurance baby!) - just another day. But as a friend said, it is a good time to examine your life.
I only made one resolution and it wasn't really a resolution. It was something I decided I needed to do weeks ago, but waited for a good opportunity. And here we are on January 2nd and I already fulfilled it (resolved it? achieved it? I don't know and I'm not pausing to correct it). Not bad huh? Think I can take the rest of the year off? Probably not...
Anyway, basically I needed to rebuild a friendship with an old friend. Things occurred in the past year that lead to us not speaking for many months. It wasn't the "what" that bothered me, it was the "how" and I felt I deserved better from a friend. Until recently, I had still been mad and felt the ball was in his court. Because of that, I didn't do anything...but I hate holding grudges. I could have given it more time and let the typical male way of resolving things take over (saying "dude" a lot, using elaborate handshakes and chest bumps), but instead I invited him out for a burger and a beer and talked a few things out. In short, it was a good start and I'm confident things'll work out.
4) I love stumbling onto a really good gift for someone. When you see something and think, "Oh, ____ would be allllll over that action." (Yes, I say things like that in my head...and to my brother) It hasn't happened often, but when it has, it's sweet. If only there was a gift-giving holiday....ah nerts, too late.
5) Speaking of Christmas, I pretty much blew off a Christmas post. Oh well. In short, it was good family fun, with a few surprises. Wouldn't have it any other way!
6) It has been flippin' cold the last two days. Just frigid. Yeah, it's winter and I'm in Minnesota, but holy cow was it cold and windy. I don't think we've had a day in the single digits this season and we've had two back-to-back. BRRRR!
7) Soccer starts up again tomorrow and boy am I pumped. My knee feels great and after watching a lot of soccer recently, I'm itching to get out there. Knee, don't come apart on me now!
8) That's alls I gots for now. Good luck this year, everyone. May you be healthy, happy and may your resolutions be...resolved...achieved...bloody hell, I don't know! :)
2) New Years Eve was a lot fun. There was drinking, fondue, lots of chatting, "Scene It" (super fun party game...and not because it was right in my wheelhouse. It will get it's own post later), some tv and movie watching, and a sleepover. Very, very good times.
3) Well, it's now 2008...who feels different? I don't. For me, it's like any birthday after 25 (car insurance baby!) - just another day. But as a friend said, it is a good time to examine your life.
I only made one resolution and it wasn't really a resolution. It was something I decided I needed to do weeks ago, but waited for a good opportunity. And here we are on January 2nd and I already fulfilled it (resolved it? achieved it? I don't know and I'm not pausing to correct it). Not bad huh? Think I can take the rest of the year off? Probably not...
Anyway, basically I needed to rebuild a friendship with an old friend. Things occurred in the past year that lead to us not speaking for many months. It wasn't the "what" that bothered me, it was the "how" and I felt I deserved better from a friend. Until recently, I had still been mad and felt the ball was in his court. Because of that, I didn't do anything...but I hate holding grudges. I could have given it more time and let the typical male way of resolving things take over (saying "dude" a lot, using elaborate handshakes and chest bumps), but instead I invited him out for a burger and a beer and talked a few things out. In short, it was a good start and I'm confident things'll work out.
4) I love stumbling onto a really good gift for someone. When you see something and think, "Oh, ____ would be allllll over that action." (Yes, I say things like that in my head...and to my brother) It hasn't happened often, but when it has, it's sweet. If only there was a gift-giving holiday....ah nerts, too late.
5) Speaking of Christmas, I pretty much blew off a Christmas post. Oh well. In short, it was good family fun, with a few surprises. Wouldn't have it any other way!
6) It has been flippin' cold the last two days. Just frigid. Yeah, it's winter and I'm in Minnesota, but holy cow was it cold and windy. I don't think we've had a day in the single digits this season and we've had two back-to-back. BRRRR!
7) Soccer starts up again tomorrow and boy am I pumped. My knee feels great and after watching a lot of soccer recently, I'm itching to get out there. Knee, don't come apart on me now!
8) That's alls I gots for now. Good luck this year, everyone. May you be healthy, happy and may your resolutions be...resolved...achieved...bloody hell, I don't know! :)
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